Can't sleep.

Friday night. Alone. Chips. Romantic movies. 

Yeah, i've mastered being pathetic.

They never taught us this shit in school.

I feel like I'm always gonna get hurt- no matter how old I am or who I'm with.
I always thought that love was this sorta unexplainable phenomenon, genuine, and unbreakable.
I always believed that when you love someone it's forever, and once you've found "the one" nothing can break it and it can never spoil.
Lately though, I've lost faith. I'm not an angel- god knows I've hurt so many men in my life, a lot that didn't deserve it in the least, but I was broken a while ago, before my pessimism ever even kicked in.
We're all so afraid to give our all, afraid to be hurt, or made a fool of. I always thought It was so dumb how people kept their feelings in, but I'm starting to get it, i'm starting to understand the fear.

I'm tired of being confused. I really don't get this shit anymore.

Right now i'm listening to Santana- The Calling. It's really amazing. Listening to Carlos play guitar does roughly the same thing to me as when I listen to, let's say, Jimmy rock out. Makes me stop whatever i'm doing, close my eyes, and imagine little music notes prancing around in-front of the black space behind my eye lids.

Life.

In my life, chaos consumes me. It's seldom that things will be still and It's almost never that things make any sense... Sometimes It's my own fault, and sometimes it's less in my control, but this continues to be a trend in my life.. I just hope I can smoothe out my flaws before I'm stuck again. I'm probably one of the most dysfunctional people I know. It's sad.

So.
This is my attempt at throwing facebook out the window, and spending my social networking time writing in this blog about life, music, love, and more. Pretty much whatever pops into my head.


This should be interesting.